


Town Meeting

by ranguvar82



Series: Silence and Strength [34]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Aziraphale is "just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing" (Good Omens), Gen, aziraphale is a troll
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:20:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23885152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ranguvar82/pseuds/ranguvar82
Summary: There was a stranger in the village.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Silence and Strength [34]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1630903
Comments: 22
Kudos: 166





	Town Meeting

Town Meeting

There was a stranger in the village. This in itself was not that unusual; tourists were, after all, a frequent sight. But this stranger was different. For one, he was wearing a very slick looking suit and had hair that was neatly parted down the middle, as if with a ruler. Second, he was smiling. Constantly. But it wasn’t a friendly, open smile like the one Ezra often bestowed on the villagers, nor was it the shy, sly grin that Crowley seemed to favor. It was almost plastic, mouth stretched to show teeth that were almost too perfect. Third, he was almost too friendly, a hail fellow well met sort of person.

Word spread through the village that the stranger wished to speak to everyone, and so a meeting was set up in the town hall. Mayor Davies took the podium, her stern gaze sweeping the crowd. “Is everyone here?”

There was an affirmative murmur, and Mrs. Davies turned to the visitor. “Well, I guess the floor’s all yours, Mister.” She stepped away from the podium and the man stepped forward, slick smile in place.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I represent the...”

There was a commotion as the doors burst open and Aziraphale and Crowley came running in, both looking rather flushed. Aziraphale beamed at everyone. “So..so sorry we’re late, we were...umm...”

‘Organizing the music room?’

“Yes! Organizing the music room! Oh, Crowley, look, there’s some seats up front!” Aziraphale steered them through the crowd and to the two seats directly in front of the podium. “Do please continue, sir, and our apologies for the interruption.” He looked up at the speaker as if what he were going to say was the most fascinating thing ever. Crowley lounged and looked bored out of their skull.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I represent the Better Times Real Estate Company. I am here in this picturesque village of yours with an amazing offer. Now, I know you will most likely be skeptical about what my company is offering, but I promise you that once things are up and running, you will see more revenue come into this village in a month than you ever saw in a year. Why, just last year I saved an entire village in Sussex from going under with my generous offer, and...”

“Excuse me?” Aziraphale raised his hand. The speaker blinked. “You keep mentioning this brilliant offer, and how it saved people from going bankrupt, and quite a few other things, but I notice that you have yet to tell anyone what the offer actually is.”

“I’m coming to that, my good man! But first, let me ask you this. Are you happy in the business you’re in now?” The speaker asked, beaming at Aziraphale.

“Well, considering my partner and I are retired, and we weren’t all that thrilled with our jobs beforehand, I’d say no. But what does that have to do with anything?” Aziraphale’s smile was even brighter.

“Would you like to have a nest egg to keep you from going bankrupt in your golden years? Would you like to be able to lounge on the porch with your friend there and not worry about whether or not you can provide for him? He looks like he needs lots of looking after.”

Aziraphale’s beam didn’t waver. “Oh, Crowley is perfectly capable of looking after themselves, I assure you. Our relationship is built on trust, not on whether or not I can provide for them. But we are getting away from the main point of this discussion, which is that despite all your posturing, you have yet to define this oh so generous offer in plain terms.”

The man looked a bit less slick. “It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity, is what it is! Why, this village has several acres of prime real estate just waiting to be tapped to its fullest potential! And the Better Times Company is prepared to make a monumental offer on...”

“So sorry, I hate to be that person, but where exactly is this prime real estate?” Aziraphale asked, looking for all the world like he was genuinely sorry to be asking such a probing question. Crowley was having the time of their life right now.

The speaker was beginning to develop a twitch in his right eye. “Right before you reach the village proper, there’s about sixteen acres.”

“Oh. Well, my good man, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I’m afraid that land is privately owned.”

“It’s owned by the village, Mister.”

Aziraphale clucked his tongue. “Oh dear, I am afraid not. It was at one point, this is true, but now there’s only one owner. And I happen to know that he would not be willing to sell, no matter what the price.” The angel grinned like a shark, and Crowley had to exert every ounce of their willpower to not drag him into their lap and kiss him breathless.

“Who owns it?!”

The shark smile grew wider. “Why, I do, of course. Well, me and Crowley. So you see, you are rather wasting your time up there. And you never did once say what this offer is, but I’ve the feeling it is one that would end up being rather detrimental in the long run, so speaking for Crowley and myself, we will have to turn down the offer. I of course cannot speak for the others.”

Mr. Richards was the first to speak up. “If Ezra’s got misgivings about it, that’s a sure sign it’s shady. We want nuffin’ to do with you or your company, Mister. You’d best leave.”

There were loud cries of agreement, and the slick salesman(now looking much less slick) departed, muttering about how “You’re all making a mistake.”

Crowley turned to their angel. ‘You complete bastard. I love you.’

Aziraphale preened. “Why, I love you too.”

“You wuz pretty slick yourself, Mr. Fell,” Mr. Richards said in admiration. “Where’d you learn that?”

Aziraphale looked demure. “Oh, I picked one or two things up over the years.”

Crowley laughed. Their angel was such a bastard, and by Someone, did they adore him.


End file.
